Fly
by Suki-Itami
Summary: Songfic to "Fly to Stay Alive" by maNga


There are days when I think, as I sit alone in my apartment, that in some past life that I cannot remember, I was an Angel…an Angel who betrayed God. One from whom He not only ripped their wings from but also their memory of that time, and then forbade them from returning to the Kingdom of Heaven by giving them–**me** this wretched curse of immortality.

I looked down at the palms of my hands, each with pale scars running across them in random succession.

Why did God curse me? Was I really a Fallen Angel that betrayed Him in some life I don't remember? If so, doesn't He realize that I'm sorry for whatever betrayal my soul committed back then? And, doesn't He realize that I'm no longer that Fallen Angel, the traitor He cast out?

…

_You've fallen right out of the sky_

_I could swear you're a natural high_

…

I looked over at my computer's screen when a distinct ringing noise erupted from the speakers. It was Skype. I went over to the computer and clicked "accept" when I saw who the video call was from.

I smiled softly at the redhead with the bright green eyes hidden behind thin-rimmed glasses when his image appeared on the screen. "Hey Kyle," I said the usual greeting more happily than ever, "how's Chicago?"

Kyle rolled his eyes in the showmanship fashion that clearly showed his annoyance and he groaned. _"Dude, I can't wait to be back there."_

"Something wrong?"

"_Everyone's an asshole, more so here than in South Park,"_ he added quickly when I opened my mouth to retort his point.

I chuckled. "Well, just a few more months and you'll be back."

Kyle smiled widely. _"For good. I'll finally be done with college!"_

I couldn't help but to smile at his enthusiasm. "You will. I'm sorry I can't make it to your graduation."

He shook his head. _"Don't worry about it."_ He smiled again. _"I know you want to, and that's all that matters."_

"Okay." I looked into his eyes and, though slightly distorted by the computer screen, I saw their usual shine of delight and annoyance; it made me smile even wider. Though there was something else there today, something accompanying his mixed feeling, and it looked like…hurt. My smile dropped. "Kyle, did something happen?"

He blinked, looking surprised that I had noticed something was wrong through the smiles. _"What? Of course not Kenny, where did–"_

"How are you and Stan doing?"

"…" Everything in his face and postured dropped, and it became apparent what had happened before he continued, _"We broke up again…"_

"…Again?"

Kyle nodded. _"…Yeah…"_ Though that was all he said, I could feel the heartbreak in his voice through the computer.

Stan and Kyle have been on and off for the past five years and I had never once seen Kyle look so depressed or hear the sound of betrayal in his voice. I asked him what happened, praying that I wasn't going to hear the words I thought I might.

…

_Volcanoes erupting inside_

_When I see the sparkle in your eyes_

_But you don't even realize_

'_Cause you've been hurt so many times_

…

He sniffed and hung his head to wipe something off of his face, a tear I assumed. _"He…He __**cheated**__ on me!"_ I heard a soft sob escape him and I felt sorrow for him before I could feel the anger towards Stan. _"He slept with some guy over in the next building!"_

I bit my bottom lip, remembering how Kyle had told me the last time him and Stan had broken up that he was certain that Stan had been sleeping with someone else while they were attending college in Chicago. But when he had confronted him about it, his accusations were waved off as nothing more than speculation. He let it go back then; he had no proof that Stan really was doing this to him.

"_And what's worse,"_ Kyle looked at the webcam again with tears running down his face, _"he denied it after I caught them both half naked in our room!"_

…

_They play with your heart, told you lies_

_They were wrong all along, you were right_

…

So this was what Kyle meant by people in Chicago being bigger assholes than here in South Park. I wanted to cry at the look of utter defeat on his face, it was heart wrenching. And I hated myself for not being able to be there right now to just hold him.

"Kyle," I said gently, "please don't cry."

"_Do you think I __**want**__ to cry over that bastard, Kenny?"_ He yelled back at me. _"I __**hate**__ him! I don't know why he tears my heart apart like this!"_

"I don't know either Kyle, but he's not worth your tears." He looked at me with shock and I continued, "Anyone who makes you cry, who cheats on you, isn't worth it."

"_Kenny…"_

We stared at each other through the computer screen for the longest of moments. In that moment, I could feel my heart beating wildly while my head began to swim. Comforting Kyle through a webcam probably wasn't the way I would've imagined the way I'd be saying these next words, but I felt like, somehow, it might help…

"Kyle…I love you."

…

_But if you could see my love through a bird's eye_

_You, you would know how beautiful it is to_

_Fly, baby, fly_

…

"I have for a while now."

Kyle's face turned bright red on the other side of the computer screen, allowing me to clearly see some tears still falling down his pale face. And the look on his face…was it anger? …Confusion? …I couldn't tell what it was, but whatever it was wasn't what I had been hoping for - acceptance. (Though I didn't exactly time that correctly.)

Finally, he spoke: _"You…You love me?"_

I nodded. "I wouldn't lie to you when you're in tears. Well, actually, I wouldn't **ever** lie to you!"

That's when I knew I was seeing confusion in his eyes. He looked around, shook his head, and just looked like he had no idea how to respond to what was told to him. _"…I…I just don't…I don't know how I'm supposed to react to this."_

"React like you."

Kyle laughed a bit and shook his head. _"I don't know h…how to react to this Kenny. I don't."_

I smiled softly. "That's okay."

"_It…is?"_

I nodded. "Of course. I didn't tell you expecting an answer right away, I know you're in pain right now, so I just thought that if you knew that there is someone who stills loves you, then you might stop crying."

He smiled gently. _"Thank you Kenny, it does help…but I just need some time to think."_

"Take all the time you need."

…

_We gotta fly to stay alive_

_These words, these words_

_No magic 'til we try_

_Take a leap, leap of fate_

_Reach for the stars in the night_

_Break the curse of this Earth_

…

Kyle nodded. _"Hey…I'm gonna go alright…?"_

"Okay. Call me if anything happens, okay?" I told him. It was already a normal thing for him to call me if something happened, good or bad, but I just felt like reminding him that he had someone to talk to.

"_I will."_ I watched as Kyle moved the mouse of his computer to turn off Skype, causing my side of the screen to go blank.

I exited out of my webcam and then made my way back over to the couch to sit there again. I looked back at my scarred hands and then up at the ceiling.

So it seemed I was no traitor. It was Stan, he was the one who should be punished, not me. He should be forced to die all the time and have no one remember it. Not me, I'm not the idiot he is. I love Kyle, with all of my heart, and I know I would never do what Stan has done. I will **never** be the reason Kyle cries or the reason his heart breaks!

I smiled slightly. I'll help him repair his broken heart, even if he doesn't love me in return.

…

_There's miracles up in the sky_

_Where love birds fly_

…

…_Two Months Later_…

I stood waiting outside of the concourse at Denver International Airport excitedly. Kyle was finally going to come home! Just the thought made me so happy that I could jump up and down from the excitement! (Of course I wouldn't do that, I'd get a lot of weird stares and scaring people isn't exactly something I'm proud I do a lot.)

It was only a few weeks ago that me and Kyle had talked over Skype once again about everything going on with him and Stan, and he was determined as ever not to go back to him. I was happy to hear him say that, even more so when I heard him say that he wanted to go on a date with me when he returned to Colorado. I had giggled like an elated schoolgirl, (once the webcam was off of course), and have been awaiting the day ever since. I even had him tell me his flight number and everything so I could pick him up from the airport - his mother and father were driving his stuff back in the family van.

Though we weren't technically a couple yet, I wanted to give him a kiss when I saw him. I don't know why, and I'm almost positive I'll get smacked for it, but I just need to feel something real and alive against me right now. Especially after last night.

I died again, hit by some jackass going seventy down Main Street while I was walking home from work. I don't even know if he stopped or an ambulance was called, I was dead before I hit the pavement.

Suddenly I was pulled out of my thoughts when movement caught my eye. I looked around to see people coming out of the concourse and into the arms of loved ones. My eyes moved forward and scanned the crowd heading towards me for the mop of curly red hair that belonged to Kyle, finally finding it when he broke through the crowd in a run.

I smiled as he ran up and threw his arms around me excitedly. My arms wrapped around him tightly, holding him to me. It felt so right, having him in my arms like this, that without even thinking about it, I moved one hand to gently cup his cheek and turn his face up to me. Before he could ask what I was doing, I brought our lips together in a gentle yet passionate kiss.

And, much to my happy surprise, he didn't fight me but instead leaned into the kiss, deepening it.

…

_Like Angels from Heaven on Earth_

_We know that love will never die_

…

"What the hell are you doing to him?" A voice demanded from behind Kyle.

I opened my eyes and disconnected our lips, looking up to see the short raven hair and dark blue eyes belonging to Stan Marsh, Kyle's ex-boyfriend and once a close friend of mine. My eyebrows knit together at the glare he was sending our way. It'd be one thing if they were still together, but Stan had made it abundantly clear two months ago that he was through being with Kyle. It was up to flame-haired man in my arms who he was romantically linked with now, not Stan's.

"I'm kissing him, idiot," I said with an enforced tone of contempt.

Stan stepped forward reaching for Kyle's arm, I stepped back, bringing Kyle with me. "Let him go."

I shook my head. "Why should I? He's not your boyfriend anymore."

"Bullshit! Just save yourself the trouble and heartache let me take him home myself Kenny!"

"You cheated on him!"

"I love him!"

"You don't love me!" Kyle yelled from the safety of my arms. I looked down at him as he turned his head to glare back at Stan. "Don't go spouting off that shit Stan! You slept with Erik! If you had one shred of love for me, you destroyed it when you did that!"

All three of us where silent then, allowing me to pick up murmurs and whispers around us about what we were discussing. I moved myself and Kyle so that I was holding him to my side with one arm around his shoulders.

I broke the silence: "Look Stan, Kyle doesn't want you anymore. And you made it quite clear that you feel the same."

Stan ground his teeth together and sneered at us; looks like my little comment angered him a bit. "So I was stupid for a few moments. Everybody cheats, you would know **all** about that Kenny."

My eyebrows knit together again. The bastard was bringing up something that happened in high school? Really? He didn't think that I've changed since then? "That happened years ago. I've changed. And, sure, I'm not perfect, no one is, but I'm not the slut anymore," I raised my free hand and flipped him off, "you are."

While Stan was standing there in shock, I turned Kyle and walked towards the doors after confirming he didn't check any bags - he just had a rucksack with some stuff in it.

…

_We dust off the pain and the dirt_

_And discover the diamond inside_

_I'm not saying I'm the perfect man_

_But I swear I will give it a try_

…

When I could see my Blazer where I parked it in the parking garage, I glanced at Kyle. "I'm sorry I spoke for you back there. Do you want to be with me? Really? I just want to be sure–"

"Yes Kenny, I'm sure." He smiled. "I want to be with you, don't worry about what I want. I know."

…

_I'm no pilot, I got no wings, but I_

_I know we will survive_

…

I smiled too, softly. "Then I'm happy."

…

'_Cause if you could see our love through a bird's eye_

_You, you would know how beautiful it is to_

_Fly, baby, fly_

_We gotta fly to stay alive_

_These words, these words_

_No magic still we try_

…

As I climbed into the driver's seat of the Blazer and Kyle into the passenger's seat, a new thought occurred to me:

Maybe I wasn't a cursed Fallen Angel, maybe I was something else. An Angel still, maybe, but maybe one that God was testing to see if I could survive as some mortal pariah. Make friends, fall in love, grow old with someone. Maybe…maybe not.

…

_Take a leap, leap of fate_

_Reach for the stars in the night_

_Break the curse of this Earth_

…

I glanced over at Kyle as I stopped at the gate leading out of the airport's parking lot and smiled once again.

Even if that may not be the case, I would still like to believe it. It's a nicer alternative to what God's reasoning could really be.

…

_There's miracles up in the sky_

…

Kyle must've caught my staring because he looked over at me and smiled too. His eyes were sparkling again, and this time I saw no sign of the sorrow or depression that was present a few months ago. I could only hope that that meant he could be happy with me.

…

_Where love birds fly_


End file.
